September 11th, 2001

Today we should take a moment to remember just how insane, painful, and scary life can be.  We need to remind ourselves how our actions against each other can lead to indescribable sadness and confusion.  

That day, I was sitting at my computer, watching the Today Show -- No, actually, it was just on in the back ground I was about to smoke a bowl because I had an accounting class to go to and that was the only way I ever got through that damn class.  As I was breaking shit up, I heard Matt start talking about a plane had hit a tower, some where in New York that I had never really heard about. No one knew what was going on... I looked up, still not paying attention really, and all i saw was smoke from a building.  "That's interesting."


I started packing this cool little Cartman bowl I had, when all of a sudden Katie yells out something like "Oh, God!" or "Oh, No!".  I look up and Matt and Katie are staring back at me, stunned, wide eyed, silent -- the news anchor equivalent of freaking the fuck out.  


After about 10 seconds of that, they cut back to the building and a replay of what happened.  Both images are just as haunting in my head.  Anchors, especially Matt and Katie, NEVER freak the fuck out.   I packed up my bag, pocketed my bowl, got in the car, and drove to school.


That drive was one of the most surreal experiences of my life.  


I was going to Wright College at the time, which is about a 20 minutes drive, straight west on Irving Park, from where I lived.  The radio stations, every single one, had turned to some sort of news coverage.  Watching people in their cars as they heard the scattered reports that were flying in through the speakers was unnerving.  Every other person I made eye contact with would just give me the same blank stare I was giving them.  "Dude, What the fuck is going on, Man?"  


Wright College is made up of 4 buildings.  There is a small building that connects the four, imagine the spokes on wheel.  There is security desk in that building, at the very center, were the axel would be.  There must have been about forty people gathered around that desk by the time I got there.  Everyone was watching coverage on the t.v.'s the guards had.  People would keep passing by and get sucked into the mass of people watching the reports of terrorists ("What the fuck are those?"), Bin Laden ("Who the fuck is he?") and watching these horrifying images of people running from these two burning buildings.


It was in the midst of all of these people that I saw the World Trade Centers fall.


There were no gasps, no woah's, no ohshitwhaththefuckdidyoujustseethat's.  No one said anything.  At least I don't remember anyone saying anything.  All I remember is everyone looking at each other.  Frozen in time for what seemed like 10 minutes.  Slowly, people started to leave.  I don't remember what I did, nor where I went after that.  


What I do remember is being scared. Not of the terrorists though.


As you may or may not know, Chicago was(is?) one of the most segregated in America.


That day, and that first week after, I was afraid that there would be a seige on Devon.  I grew up in Logan Square, thats where the Latinos lived.  I didn't think that the white people in Lincoln Park would be a danger, but I thought the Black People on the West Side, the Polish People over on Milwaukee, and my Latino people would all mobilize and storm up Western, breaking off east and west from there.  That never happened, of course.  I mean, there were some tensions and some broken windows at some mosques in the burbs, but nothing approaching the level of what I imagined could happen. 


If we are not careful we will end up there again.


People are not listening to each other.  I am just as guilty as everyone of demoninzing those that have differing views than on I things like Gay Marriage and whether our President is a Muslim.  I am not perfect, I need to try to listen harder.  To try to understand how people think so we can work towards a better world.  One that includes everyone.


Its been nine years and still people want to burn Qur'ans.  >sigh<

I will never forget that day, I mean how could I.  So long as I live, I will make myself remember.  As painful and scary as it is to remember, I will always make sure that I do.  If things are ever going to get better, we need to remember how fucking horrible they can be.  Stupidly, senselessly, maddenlingly, tragically horrible.

Be Gentle, It's My First Time...

I wonder how many times a blog has started with that as the title of the first post.  Anyways, it's true.  This IS my first attempt at writing a blog.

Over the past few years I have spent a lot of time reading blogs, mostly those that focus on the Chicago Theatre Scene.  The title of this blog, for example, is a complete rip off of Don Hall's blog An Angry White Guy in Chicago.  Actually, Don is a friend and one day on facebook, after a status update where I said I was starting to feel like An Angry Mexican Guy in Chicago, he told me to "Start that blog!"  


So, I did!  

No, wait.  That is not entirely true.  I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog for a long time, that was just the straw that broke.  

Before we get into why I am writing this blog, though, I want to fill you in on the source.

Who am I? Why does that matter?

There are few things from my days at St. Ignatius College Prep that I remember.  One lesson that has always stuck with me is to consider the source.  When gathering information, one must always consider the source and then weigh the information gathered accordingly. 

If you are going to take the time to read what I write, you should know who I am. 

I was born and raised in Chicago.  Expect for 3 semesters at Michigan State University I have lived in Chicago all of my life.  I love this city with every fiber of my being.  It has molded me and shaped me into the person that I am.  Outside of my family and my friends nothing means more to me than this place.

I am a first generation Mexican-American (Spoiler Alert: I prefer American of Mexican decent, but we will get into that in a later post).  

I was raised by a single parent. 

I am a theatre artist.  Chicago Storefront, to be exact.

I love music.  Chicago House, to be exact. 

Politically, I am best described as a Liberal.  I voted for Obama, think women have a right to Choose, believe that Gay people deserve equal rights under the law, and that Racism is alive and kicking.

I am an atheist.  

I over use commas and I confuse they're/there/their all the time.

I contradict myself, from time to time.

What is this blog going to be about:

Mainly theatre, Chicago, music, religion, art, politics, my friends, my family.  Basically anything that interests me at the time I am writing.

Also, I really want to do interviews,

Back to the why.

Why I am writing this blog:

I've been thinking about starting a blog, for a while now, because I feel that within the blogosphere I see myself as a part of, I think there is a voice missing.  That is not to say that I think that anything that I have to say is more important than what anyone else has to say, I just know there are not very many Mexican guys, from Chicago, writing blogs about theatre.  So there is that.

Also, I am opinionated as fuck (and I swear).  I see the world around me and I have opinions about what I see and I want to share them with people.  I am not trying to change minds.  I just want to be a part of the debate.  I think that we have gotten to a point in this country where people have stopped listening, stopped considering each other's points of view -- in theatre, politics, society, etc.  I want people to listen to me and I want to listen to people.  Nothing is black and white, lets dive into the grey. 

Finally, I want to become a better writer.  I think, as I am sure many other bloggers do, that if I force myself to have a place to write for, then I will write more things.  Writing more things, hopefully, will allow me to become a better writer.  At least that is the idea.

Lets wrap it up:

How is that for an origin story?  Not as good as the first Iron Man, but definitely better than that crap Wolverine:Origins movie.  That was a real piece of shit.

Anyways, in the days, weeks, and months to come I am sure the blog will go thru many changes, eventually hitting a stride that I, as yet, can not see.  Until then...

...be gentle, it's my first time.