September 11th, 2001

Today we should take a moment to remember just how insane, painful, and scary life can be.  We need to remind ourselves how our actions against each other can lead to indescribable sadness and confusion.  

That day, I was sitting at my computer, watching the Today Show -- No, actually, it was just on in the back ground I was about to smoke a bowl because I had an accounting class to go to and that was the only way I ever got through that damn class.  As I was breaking shit up, I heard Matt start talking about a plane had hit a tower, some where in New York that I had never really heard about. No one knew what was going on... I looked up, still not paying attention really, and all i saw was smoke from a building.  "That's interesting."


I started packing this cool little Cartman bowl I had, when all of a sudden Katie yells out something like "Oh, God!" or "Oh, No!".  I look up and Matt and Katie are staring back at me, stunned, wide eyed, silent -- the news anchor equivalent of freaking the fuck out.  


After about 10 seconds of that, they cut back to the building and a replay of what happened.  Both images are just as haunting in my head.  Anchors, especially Matt and Katie, NEVER freak the fuck out.   I packed up my bag, pocketed my bowl, got in the car, and drove to school.


That drive was one of the most surreal experiences of my life.  


I was going to Wright College at the time, which is about a 20 minutes drive, straight west on Irving Park, from where I lived.  The radio stations, every single one, had turned to some sort of news coverage.  Watching people in their cars as they heard the scattered reports that were flying in through the speakers was unnerving.  Every other person I made eye contact with would just give me the same blank stare I was giving them.  "Dude, What the fuck is going on, Man?"  


Wright College is made up of 4 buildings.  There is a small building that connects the four, imagine the spokes on wheel.  There is security desk in that building, at the very center, were the axel would be.  There must have been about forty people gathered around that desk by the time I got there.  Everyone was watching coverage on the t.v.'s the guards had.  People would keep passing by and get sucked into the mass of people watching the reports of terrorists ("What the fuck are those?"), Bin Laden ("Who the fuck is he?") and watching these horrifying images of people running from these two burning buildings.


It was in the midst of all of these people that I saw the World Trade Centers fall.


There were no gasps, no woah's, no ohshitwhaththefuckdidyoujustseethat's.  No one said anything.  At least I don't remember anyone saying anything.  All I remember is everyone looking at each other.  Frozen in time for what seemed like 10 minutes.  Slowly, people started to leave.  I don't remember what I did, nor where I went after that.  


What I do remember is being scared. Not of the terrorists though.


As you may or may not know, Chicago was(is?) one of the most segregated in America.


That day, and that first week after, I was afraid that there would be a seige on Devon.  I grew up in Logan Square, thats where the Latinos lived.  I didn't think that the white people in Lincoln Park would be a danger, but I thought the Black People on the West Side, the Polish People over on Milwaukee, and my Latino people would all mobilize and storm up Western, breaking off east and west from there.  That never happened, of course.  I mean, there were some tensions and some broken windows at some mosques in the burbs, but nothing approaching the level of what I imagined could happen. 


If we are not careful we will end up there again.


People are not listening to each other.  I am just as guilty as everyone of demoninzing those that have differing views than on I things like Gay Marriage and whether our President is a Muslim.  I am not perfect, I need to try to listen harder.  To try to understand how people think so we can work towards a better world.  One that includes everyone.


Its been nine years and still people want to burn Qur'ans.  >sigh<

I will never forget that day, I mean how could I.  So long as I live, I will make myself remember.  As painful and scary as it is to remember, I will always make sure that I do.  If things are ever going to get better, we need to remember how fucking horrible they can be.  Stupidly, senselessly, maddenlingly, tragically horrible.