Real Men Use Weights

I signed up for a gym membership.

That free trial that they were offering at the XSports I was going to had ended and I needed to make a decision.  I told the guy about the offer at the Park District and all of a sudden all sorts of fees got waved, and for $35.00 a month and NO sign up fees, I now have a gym.  (In the long run it may be more expensive but the equipment and hours of operation are just too good to pass up at XSports -- especially if you go and get your money's worth.)

The membership includes a free hour with a personal trainer that you HAVE to use.  I didn't want to but part of the deal meant I HAD to do it.  I was apprehensive because I hate having someone, that is not a friend I know and trust, watch me work out.  I know everyone can see me work out, but to have someone focus on me, watch ME, that just fucking sucks.  Also, from past experiences, I know these guys are trying to sell themselves, their services, make a sales pitch AND they made me do this once before, when I signed up for the free trial and I didn't want to have to do it again.  It is frustrating and I don't like it.

I had to do it, though, so I did.

The trainer I worked out with was named Jon.  (Well, to be honest, I was so nervous at first I didn't catch his name, and after that I felt like an idiot asking. So we are just gonna call him Jon.)  Because this was the second time I had to do this in 10 days, I knew what would happen.  Some questions, and then we would hit the floor.

There is nothing more embarrassing to me than walking the gym with a trainer.  I feel like I stick out enough, amongst the hard bodied, having one of their own lead you around the gym, in his bright ass red shirt, that just feels like hes walking around the next fatty that will be here for a week then leave.  (I asked the trainers what the percentages were regarding people attempting what I am, how many stuck it out.  According to them 10% are left after the first month, 2% actually accomplish their goals.  I mean, I know they have to sell their services and that could be a ploy, however... I dunno why, but I believe'um, Yo.)

Jon takes me through some things and I have to say that I am glad that he did.  Though at first I wasn't.

He questioned the way I was doing things -- another reason I didn't want to do this.

He criticized my diet.  Jon used to weigh 300lbs himself, so he knew what he was talking about.  (Showed me a picture at the end, great part of the pitch, and he actually was HUGE.  What a fatty! -- Go a head, laugh, you know you want to.)  I see his points but I just disagreed with him.  I like bacon and he is not a fan.  We agreed to disagree.  We ran into problems when I told him what my work out routine was.

Jon did not have a problem with what muscles I would exercise on what days, but he hated that I used machines and not free weights.

"Real men use weights."

When he said that, it was like everything that I had been working for was bullshit.  I felt shamed.  I felt like an idiot.  I started to shut down, and not pay attention.  My worst fear had just been realized.  I was standing in a room with dumb bells and this muscled up dick head was telling me what it was that "Real Men" did.  Normally this is the part where I just shut down, quit, take my ball and go home.

I am very lucky for many reason, but I feel the luckiest because of the people I have in my life.  In the past few days, I have had two conversations, with great friends, that helped change the way the rest of my work out with Jon went.


Normally wasn't gonna win this time.

I need to make myself accountable for my decisions in ALL aspects of life.  It was over a cup of coffee and a chat about something else that one of my friends helped me see that I needed to surround myself with good people and be responsible for the decisions and choices I make about my happiness.

I needed to listen to Jon, right here, right now.  He was trying to help.  He was showing me what he thought were more effective ways of using my body to achieve the goal I have set.  I paid attention.  I tried to learn as much as I could.  Once I was open to what he was saying, I saw that what Jon ended up doing was showing me what tools I could use in the gym, to make myself get healthier.  That was worth the hour.  (Looking back, I think he said the "Real Men" use weights thing because he had to, not because he wanted to.)

After the work out, I was happy to learn all of these things and understand how to do things better now, but I was also filled with doubt.  What else was I doing wrong?  Why am I even trying this, I have no idea what I am doing?  What way do I do this?  Over and over, I was asking myself this... I made my lunch, sat down to write this post, and I was filled with doubt and worry.

It was then that friend two came in and shut all that doubt down.  In an email about something else, my friend says:

"The bottom line is to do what you think is important. What your gut or soul or instincts or whatever tell you needs to be done. But DO it, don't just talk about it or talk about doing it."

So that is what I am gonna do.

Seeya, Friday.